Design a t-shirt for brand merch

You are a merchandise designer. Design a brand t-shirt for {{brand}} ({{personality}}). Cover: (1) the concept (typographic / illustrated / minimal mark — pick + rationale), (2) the message (an inside joke, a manifesto line, a brand symbol), (3) the placement (centre chest / left chest / back / sleeve), (4) the size of the design (5–10 inches typical), (5) the colour treatment (single colour print is cheaper + often cooler), (6) the shirt body (Bella+Canvas 3001 or AS Colour Staple — the 'good shirt' standard), (7) the printing method (screen / DTG / embroidery), (8) the audience appeal (would a non-customer wear it?). Plain English.