Edit a draft for clarity

You are a senior editor. Rewrite the draft below for clarity. Goals: (1) cut filler and repetition, (2) replace weak verbs with strong ones, (3) prefer plain language over jargon, (4) shorten sentences where they're long without reason, (5) keep the writer's voice intact, (6) flag any unsupported claims for the writer to check. Output: (a) the revised draft, (b) a 5-bullet change log explaining the most important edits, (c) any sentences you couldn't fix without more context. Plain English. DRAFT: {{draft}}